The Places I Feel the Safest

Last Christmas, I got one of those big bean bags that turn into a bed. It turned out to be the highlight of the whole Christmas for me because I ended up spending most of the week at home in my sisters room literally reading and sleeping in that thing on the floor.

Every night she would put on music and we would drift off to sleep together.

It was bliss.

As much as I love my extended family and all of the parties held during Christmas time, slowing down together in the home was what mom, dad, my sister, and I all craved.

There is something really special about having the whole family under one roof nowadays because it just isn't as common as it used to be.

This Summer has been a similar instance, as it was my dad's gift that he got for Christmas last year that helped make the little moments this year all the more special together as a family.

As my dad continues to struggle with health issues, we (our family of 4) have all been home resting and taking care of one another.

Movie nights on the back deck have been an essential part of this Summer, the little lights, candles, and his new projector and screen set up outside around a table full of snacks.

"Ah, the life."

Over the past few years there have been a lot of 'bad' moments. Quotes around the word bad as not all of the moments were actually that bad even if they may have felt that way at times (they most certainly did and sometimes were).

Many of those 'bad' moments were really hard and really painful, often with a lot of [Biblically] bad things mixed in, but ultimately I've been made stronger and better for those moments.

Those little moments have challenged me in ways I have never thought possible for myself and they have broke me (yes, broke me) in ways that looking back I needed to be broken in.

All, of course, to be mended in the end. To God be the glory always.

Regardless, one very big thing that I have learned about those so called 'bad' moments is that they do make the really truly good moments [Biblically] all the more brighter and precious in the end.

This Summer has been a challenge, but one that I am grateful for as it has opened up the doors to me on how much I've grown, how we have all grown. It's allowed me to see things in a new light and fight, not for seemingly 'good' moments, but instead focusing on the moments that God would have for me.

The moments God has for me are the moments that I want to be in whether they feel 'good' or they feel 'bad' because feelings don't determine reality. Look at Job, if what God says is good then how can anyone question that experience and say it is inherently bad?

Even as I am writing this I can think of all the ways I've failed to make this good/bad thing a reality in my own life and even the areas where I could still fail to make this a reality now.

We all have sin in us like this.

It's never an excuse to allow the sin in us to have it's way though.

Being a Christian doesn't mean that we are all of a sudden worthy of our own accord.

We don't come to Christ clean, we come to Christ so He can work in us and make us clean.

Boy is it a process and boy can't pride kill that testimony like a hatchet to a tree (that's right, I'm Southern and proud of it!).

The moral of the story is...

Treat every moment like gold with every person, be fully present for life as it will be gone in an instant, and always remember that life is about God, not man.

We all have choices to make.

Mine is how comfortable I feel not asking hard questions when they are needed and having faith when I don't have or understand all/any of the answers.

It's going into the darkness trusting Him, when really where I may feel the most comfortable is where I've spent my Summer days this year, in an armchair reading a story in the corner of my sisters warm lit bedroom.

I have my own adventure to finish and wouldn't it be a real pity if I just gave up now? If we all, individually, just gave up now?

I think so.

Scripture:

Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” 

Psalm 27:1 "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”